One


       

On March 2nd 2014 I was having the most intense dream about running through a corn maze and how pissed I was that I couldn't find the end of it, and then just like in the movies I woke up to a "pop", it was 4:40 am and my water just broke. 


That day is a blur to me now, almost 18 hours totally wiped away. I remember certain key moments, little snippets that I've tucked away and revisit from time to time. I can no longer physically remember how intense unmedicated back labor was, how vulnerable I felt during contractions because I was not in control, or how much relief I had balancing my unstable shaking body on a medicine ball in the shower hunched over a chair, these are just a fleeing moment in my life, just for one day only special kind of deal. What I do remember however, is my sister, Jim and my godsend angel of a midwife making me laugh in between contractions, keeping me on track and the atsmophere positive, telling me that I could do it, my mother checking in every once and awhile to make sure her baby was okay, and that moment, that epic moment after the last push, when all the pain immediately disappeared and they put you on my chest, the first time we met, that is a moment I will forever and always remember. 


                        




For every single day for the past year I have watched you flourish, grow and become this incredible human. You never cease to amaze me with your antics and personality. I am your biggest fan and I will never take our time together for granted. Happy first birthday to you, my darling little Lucy. I love you more than anything that has ever been or will ever be. 

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